Two Wheels To Nowhere

Take a good look at this photograph. Have you ever wondered about what’s actually happening when they set up for a pose like this? Do you think what is going through their heads at this moment has anything even remotely to do with the matching headline? I don’t. Look at it. What a pretentious pose! “Little Rocket Man” is thinking “What a bunch of fools! They actually thought I was going to make peace. I better suppress my laughter and put on a really serious, concerned looking face so they actually think I still care. Idiots.” The guy on the left is drawing up a list of subordinate soldiers willing to take Kim Jong-un out with a sniper bullet so he can take over the front row seat at these bogus photo-ops. The guy on the very right is making up his short list of countries that may overlook his atrocities inflicted on the North Korean people and provide him with political asylum. Top two countries on his list are Zimbabwe and Syria. “I could retire there”, he muzes. The guy in the white hat is sullenly thinking “why do I have to wear the most ridiculous goddamn hat! Kim doesn’t have to wear any hat. Fuhk! If anyone should wear a hat this big it should be him! Cover up that ridiculous haircut his senile mother gave him.” The old guy to his left isn’t writing anything down because he is now illiterate and completely non-verbal! His sanity left for South Korea two decades ago but Kim just keeps him around because he looks good in a uniform with that Parcheezee board hanging over where his heart used to be. This is how international politics and diplomacy works. The photos are paramount because nobody reads the articles anymore. Image is everything. It’s all just Fake News anyways, they figure. Plus, Wheel of Fortune is on in four minutes and Vanna still looks so hot, for an eighty year old.